Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize