my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I didn't notice because vodka
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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