hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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