My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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