That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
