tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
