Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
