Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize