that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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