They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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