so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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