So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
