I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
