people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
