he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
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My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
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I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.