Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love