Swine flu. Run for my life!
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
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She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
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For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole