There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How external is "for external use only"?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza