around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
