a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The air taste purple.
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