I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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