3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
