the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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