apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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