That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
