Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
