Got a toothbrush?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
