turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
