well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
