yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
