mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
