if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So much rum. So many feels.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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