Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
