first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
