So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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