Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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