I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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