So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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