Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
