Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
