Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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