I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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