super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
