I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize