You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
