He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
