Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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