I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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