i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I could fuck to npr.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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