so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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