Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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