Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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