So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
