Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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