You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
