The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize