how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
