apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
