I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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