I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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