you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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