hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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