I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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