you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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