i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
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I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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