Dual....:-)
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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