party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
